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Of the people in your life, who (if anyone) makes you feel judged or criticized for your T1D management (for example, what foods you eat, where or when you check your blood glucose, etc.)? Select all that apply to you.
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I choose to interpret negative comments as ignorance, not judgment. It’s an opportunity to educate.
People know that don’t and last Dietetic specialist
My experience is that those not familiar with T1D and how to best manage the beast may be critical or questioning.
Once in awhile someone will remark on food choice. I just tell them that’s what insulin is for.
Most of my friends and family have been very supportive, but my ex-mother-in-law was awful. A retired nurse, her diabetes “expertise” was acquired in the ’80s. She thought I was being a princess by managing my diet and insulin so carefully, to the inconvenience of others like her son. I tried to explain that calling paramedics or driving me to dialysis appointments would be even less convenient, to no avail. When I said I was following my doctor’s orders, she asked if he was diabetic, too, suggesting that we all belonged to some kind of club with an inflated idea of our own importance. So glad to have that malevolent influence out of my life.
My 18 year old daughter is self conscious of (embarrassed by) my T1D actions. (I was diagnosed 2 years ago, so this a change for her to see me as a T1D.) Apparently, her classmates with T1D don’t do anything to control T1D and they’re “ok”, so there shouldn’t be any need for me to. I’ve talked to her and I know she’ll grow out of it, but I feel sad that 1) I’ve raised a child without empathy and 2) that there may be young people who aren’t caring for their T1D as well as they could be.
(my other children are fine with it.)
My wife. I love her dearly. But, she hovers over me, and constantly tells me my blood glucose is low, when it is not. She is terribly stressed when I have a low BG.
That has to be really hard to live with. I would be very upset if my spouse was like that! Take care!
Any of the people listed in the answer to the question, if they are ignorant to the actuality of living with and treating T1D. Their role or identifier is not the reason. However, I was also recently dx’d with RA and Ankylosing Spondylitis as well, and am shocked at the lack of education others have about that. They all think that it’s just like osteo arthritis. Add to that that everyone believes they are an expert – so I mention very little. It’s exhausting to educate the world, and I simply don’t have time.
I hope you are getting good care for your RA and Ankylosing Spondylitis. Educating others is exhausting. Take of yourself.
My mother, but she passed in May so not any more.
I had a truly awful appointment with a nurse in an endocrinologist’s office last week. She said I would get dementia and heart failure if my blood sugars kept dipping to 70 at night. (It only had for 2 nights). I’m still trying to shake that appointment off.
Totally unacceptable. Only those of us with T1D truly get it.
There should be an option for: Not Anymore. I’ve felt judged in the past but I don’t anymore. I think that most people around me have a reasonable understanding of my health issues (everyone has something) so they don’t question my management now.
Like lis be, I had an hour long awful appointment with the Pump Trainer at my Endo’s office. She berated and shamed me on being T1D, my food choices, and carb counting. She wouldn’t stop, I should have walked out. My A1c is 5.7 and 90%+ in range.
I agree about walking out! She should be reported for that behavior too. Totally unacceptable!
Rex, I’d definitely notify her supervisor or endo staff. Her attitude created a hostile environment . That’s not the purpose of a pump trainer…or anyone else.
She needed to be reported!
I can never do any of my diabetes well enough for my father. Never have, never will. I always fail as far as he is concerned. My mom was proud of my effort though.
The only criticism I receive is generally from other diabetics. I eat a plant-based diet which is high in carbs, low in fat/protein. Because of my diet, I use less insulin. They have a hard time believing it and tell me I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. My A1C is 5.9-6.0 so I’m okay with eating carbs, which are needed to fuel our CNS (central nervous system).
There are complex carbs (like vegetables with fiber) and simple carbs like sugar and corn syrup, right, Yaffa? Who can argue with normal A1C while using LESS insulin? Congratulations!😎
I get many more comments over my vegetarian diet than I do over anything diabetes related.
Just one friend because she thinks she understands due to T2 in her family. But I think I am getting her to understand the difference some. I do not bring it up. I instead gently share why I am different when she brings up T2 management techniques.
It was far more an issue in the past. One of my sister-in-laws would often question/comment on both food choices and testing glucose/injecting in public. She’s now dx with type 2, taking insulin…haven’t been with my in-laws for quite some time, so I don’t know if the criticism would continue.
And some folks don’t believe in karma? 😎 I wonder if she’s following the advice she gave you?😎
My someone else is Social Media.
I was seated with my husband and had just ordered at IHOP. I’d ordered pancakes with the blueberry topping . I knew I’d need another shot but my blood sugar was on the low side so I waited to give it until they brought my plate out. I quickly administered a shot on my stomach but apparently not quickly enough. An elderly woman sitting with her husband started yelling across the aisle that I wasn’t supposed to have those pancakes with the topping. I was mortified and also furious. I’m pleased under the circumstances that I didn’t yell back at her. Low blood sugar makes me hangry. Instead I shook my head at her. So she yelled, “You’re a diabetic aren’t you?!” I shook my head again. She said, “ You’re not?” I shook it again and could tell I’d left her bewildered. I would like to say I made an impression on her to rethink presumptuous behavior but I wasn’t up to saying anything to her. I just needed to eat!
Very rarely in my current immediate circle of friends, work acquaintances and family members. They all know I have a handle on this for over 60 years and recognize that I know what I am doing to take care of myself.
In the past the worst presumptive “diabetes ignorance” and came from other nurses I worked with who had limited understanding and/or updated knowledge about diabetes management and an overabundance of assumptions and judgmental criticisms. And that, my friends was a motivating factor why I chose to become a MSN prepared diabetes specialist nurse and educator … in order to educate PWDs and their support persons, AND especially other healthcare providers caring for PWDs.
Hmmm… I’d almost welcome it, another challenge to enjoy?
LOL, Steven Gill!!! Thank you for the surprise laugh today. 🙂 I just could see it happening and wanted to be a fly on the wall when it does. I need the training!
I really don’t ever feel judged or criticized but people do sometimes ask questions/make statements mostly out of lack of knowledge.
Insulin, meters, diabetic tech are not magic wands. Its usage does not guarantee only “positive” results. Negative events can and do occur, period. Non -D- typically (incorrectly) equate negative events as being total user failure, severe user errors. As diabetics we get blamed, despite having made zero mistakes on our part. We make seriously educated best guesses, despite that truth, we can and do fail anyway sometimes! Outsiders falsely need to believe inulin, our tech are complete-total cures, rather than tiny bandages at best. When confronted for using (sic. my) “drugs” in public, no matter how invisibly done… it is their self righteousness , poor assessment which is the issue. I gladly squash such insects…
It was a dept head. And it wasn’t about my T1D mgt, but that I had T1D. She was overheard explaining to upper mgt (a CEO/CFO type) why I should never be promoted (much less hired in the first place). She was stating that I was irresponsible, adding that I had diabetes. If I couldn’t be trusted to be responsible about my health, how could I be responsible to manage a financial program covering $M’S . I didn’t hear how the discussion ended. The colleague who overheard it had to take a call (or get busted for listening in). I’d love to know how the discussion concluded, you see, the CEO/CFO was married to a person with T1D. The Dept head’s uninformed attitude to show its face occasionally when I was excluded from planning project discussions.
After 53+ years I do not eat sugar anymore. I am much better off. If I state this, people get defensive it seems, or they will tease me about what I am missing. Also, when I meet someone new and when they find out about T1D, they like to “help,” by telling me about cures or “should-nots,” with Type 2s. They just don’t know